My Kingdom for an H: Adventures in Dating

[dropcap]5 days[/dropcap] have passed since the H. and the phone call with Garbage Man.

He texts.   He SSD.  Just thinking about you thought I would say hi.
I respond accordingly.  banter.  banter.  back to studying.
4 more days pass.
He texts.  Studying Hard?
Me.  Yeah I’m studying my ass (in retrospect turns out I never typed “off” but he appeared to let it slide)
sexy banter.  sexy banter.  back to studying.

6 more days pass.  I decide to put in some minimal effort.

I text.  How was your weekend…get up to anything fun.

He responds accordingly.  banter.  banter.  back to studying.

3 more days pass.

He texts.  banter.  banter.  back to studying.

4 more days pass.

I text.  Hey Gman…off to Vegas for the weekend…

Him.  Have fun.  Place a bet for me.  Talk to you when you get back.

Me.  Will do.

4 more days pass.

I text.  Back from Vegas.

He responds accordingly.  cute banter.  very cute banter. it’s getting late.  We’re trying to figure out what he’s doing for his birthday aka I have plans on Saturday but are we going to hang out Friday night.

He texts.  Hey SSD, can I call you tomorrow night?

Me.  Sounds good.  back to studying.

Sidebar:  Up to this point he has been very attentive with the texting.  Reliable, responsive…things are finally looking up.  But…I think this too soon.

“Tomorrow night” rolls around….7…8…9…10…are you kidding me?  Though I’m trying not to not actually paying that much attention because I have my final final the next day and it’s high-stakes study mode.  My phone has been switched to silent.  Around 11 I take a little peak and find this idiocy.

10:45pm  —  Hey SSD sorry I just been busy call me.
10:54pm  —  Not sure which # to call

Well here’s clue you useless excuse for a human being  average well-meaning person?  If you’re sending text messages to a phone…it’s a cell…that’s your best bet…because if you call my house…at this hour…shit well just forget it.  Only here’s the thing of the thing.  Take a risk.  Pick one and dial.  But no call ever comes.  Around 11:30pm I decide to send a quick text (I don’t want to be a hypocrite and become non-responsive do I?)

Me.  It’s late and I’m still studying.  talk tomorrow I guess.

Thursday arrives.  I take my final final.  It goes brilliantly.  I get two different papers back from different classes.  A- and A.  Fucking eh!  I’m on cloud 23…things are peachy keen.

I text.  School’s Out!!!  Gimme a shout when you have some time.  This #

no response.

I text.  Did you not get my last text message are you really this busy?  (admittedly a little bit of crazy may be showing but I blame Telus Mobility).

no response.

Next day.  His birthday.

Me.  Happy Birthday.  (I admit this is overboard…2 texts with no response…but just as I wouldn’t want to talk shit about a friend’s ex only to have them get back together…I don’t want to be the bitchy Betty who skipped his birthday wishes if we end up dating later lol!)

no response.

Next day.

Me.  Hey Garbage Man so i gotta say i don’t think this is going to work.  you manage to keep in touch for 4 weeks while i study but fall off completely now that I’m done? 

The next text message we send at the exact same time.  Sure it’s always possible he responds and then immediately turns his phone off until the following day but this seems little unlikely.

Me.  (technically it’s part 2 of one message)  Honestly it would’ve been cool to hang out but i just think you’re too busy and I can’t stand unresponsiveness which is a bad combo…makes sense right?

Him.  Sorry been busy.  Going out for dinner.  Probably not going to be able to see you this weekend.  Hopefully ttyl.

No shit we’re not going to see each other this weekend.  With the sporadic text messaging I had already made some plans (and even if I hadn’t would surely be faking some regardless!).


*Light bulb Moment*


No I say light bulb moment but let’s be serious for a moment.  I am the chick that never leaves a party early (something awesome might happen!).  So I play along…just for a bit…just because I want to see how this plays out…just because though completely frustrating…I’m not at all emotionally invested so I figure it’s still heart-safe to keep participating…for the moment.

Next day.  Like he’d only just got the second half of the message now or something.  And admittedly this is where it starts to get a bit not good negotiation-y.  My crazy begins to show.  I’m pretty much mortified by the whole thing but let it never be said that I don’t blog  a. the whole truth  b. even when it’s my crazy showing.

Him.  Ouch.  I get up at 520 in the morning so I’m in bed early.  Too bad.  It would have been nice to get to know you better.

Me.  Why Ouch?  it’s nothing personal.  I just think you’re too busy for me to date – don’t you think?

Him.  It only matters what you think.

Me.  True.  Guess I was just asking in case I was out in left field or something and you wanted to prove me wrong.

Him.  I could prove you wrong but if your mind is made up why waste time.

Me.  If it was made up i wouldn’t still be texting or trying to hang out.

Him.  I’m confused.  shocker.  understandable.

Me.  About what?  (not because I didn’t believe he was confused but I figured there were so many possible things he could be confused over I would need him to narrow it do so I could clarify).

Me.  Does this help…I’d love it if you proved me wrong and showed you had time to date me…

No response.  Next day.

Him.  I would like to date but not sure what kind of time you would like?

I don’t respond to this right away.  I’m not really sure how to.  It’s not like I devised a mathematical equation for dating…like dates on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday with phone calls on alternating Wednesdays and twice on Sunday…I just want to date…and if we’re not actually going to see each other…stop wasting my time (and text messages) and I’ll get back on the prowl (oh who am I kidding…I mean devote more time to the prowl as I never really left).  Plus I don’t like this question on the basis that it’s another indication he’s slightly retarded (don’t normally people know what dating normal amounts would be?) and it makes me feel like demanding Debbie…but I have to respond something (though I vaguely consider just never responding and leaving the scenario as “the cool one” lol!).  I am not though…read on.

Me.  I don’t know it’s not like a set thing but if i like someone I’d kind of expect to hang out like 1-2 times a week i guess.  Though them wanting to [hang out] would be the most important.

And that my friends is the end of the story.  It’s been 3 days with no response.  Sure it’s possible he texted and Telus fucked with my social life again.  Sure it’s possible he never even got my text.  Perhaps he’s logically mulling it over unlikely.  But the thing of the thing is…I’ve let far more crazy show then I would have preferred and I’m all efforted out.  Garbage Man and I have now known each other twice as many months as we’ve had dates and although that may bode well for him liking me it does not bode well for a summer of fun and stress less dating.

Am I frustrated that he wasn’t cool and we didn’t have a great third date and I didn’t get to have some frisky fun and most importantly get that “first sex after the ex sex” out of the wayDefinitely.
Am I sad?  Not at all.
Was the frustration worth the hilarity and few good times?  One Hundred Percent!
Would I prefer the hilarity and good times without the frustration (drama)?  Obviously (give me some credit)
Am I ready for the next fella?  Definitely.

The ride was bumpy sure…but definitely not a deterrent…Onto the next ride…

*Dating Vancouver a Better Place, One Something at a Time*
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Victoria Young

Writer. Dater. Masturbator. Stop ruining my jokes by believing the self-deprecation. I am far greater than your boner will ever know.

5 Replies to “My Kingdom for an H: Adventures in Dating”

  1. girlfriend wuuut are you doing?? You can’t get blood from a stone, or sense from a retard (him)! Sadly I’ve been him before – acting all cavalier, nonchalant while the girl gives you like 100 chances that you don’t deserve. Absolutely drop him and when he texts you when his something better doesn’t work out, DO NOT RESPOND!!! (congrats on the test!)

  2. LMAO @ You can’t get blood from a stone, or sense from a retard (him)!…I totally just tweeted that it was so hilarious…and I know right?!?! Honestly I don’t know what I was doing…he just kept sucking me back in…I guess I’m an optimist…but yeah no he’s totally done lol!

  3. Slinky Refoot is totally right! I’m reading your post going “What is she DOING?!” Next time he texts, ignore him. Let him do the chasing. It’s always better that way. And you are better than that! 🙂

  4. I too believe that Slinky Redfoot is right, but I’ve been sucked in to the kind of crazy you demonstrated with the Garbabe Man many a time. Why are we women so gosh darn hopeful, even when it’s clear that the man has gots to go?

    Anyway, I’m glad to hear you’re ready for the next man to stroll into you life.

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