Answers in Dating Trilogy: Definitions and Definitelys

[dropcap]So [/dropcap]  when I last left you.  We were discussing the size of my Chuck Norris balls.  Or something like that.  Basically we were at the point where I had finally asked Trucker Joe what the fucking deal was.  But hadn’t yet gotten to any actual answers.
So there I was.  Balls out.  Asking.  So.  Seriously.  Are you attracted to me?  He made some kind of noise to indicate obviously.  Said something to back this insinuation up.  But I wasn’t falling for it again.  I mean shit.  He’d already said yes he was attracted to me.  And we’d already made out like teenagers.  In such a good way.  What I had thought.  Was.  Tuesday.  Hot.  Sticky.  Delicious.  But they say.  (they being the experts obviously.)  They say.  To listen to what a guy tells you.  To take them at their word.  And that’s when it occurs to me.  Maybe the words are the problem.

So I ask.  I clarify.  I mean.  There’s a difference I say.  Between thinking I’m attractive and being attracted to me.  Lightbulb moment.  He looks relieved.  Likes that’s it.  Finally got it all figured out.  And I’m thinking.  Fuck.  Me.  He’s not attracted to me?  What.  The.  Fuck.  Obviously I don’t say this.  Because I’m Nonchalant Nancy.  I’m Okay-with-everything Odette.  Everything is always Breezy with Betty.  At the time we kind of just carry on.  Like okay.  We’ve established the correct definitions for these words attractive and attracted to.  So it all makes sense now.  Only.  Wait.  Didn’t we make out like two dates ago?  So obviously we’re not totally at the root of the issue.

So I’m balls to the wall again..  I just opened my mouth and asked. What. Is the deal? And his response was…

Okay wait. Detour. I don’t know why I always feel the need to protect some of the “somethings” but I do.  And this is another example.  Because what he said.  Well.  Not super suave.  Not super on point.  Kind of a little.  Er.  Um.  Weird.  But I know why he said it.  The point was more about the feelings.  Than the words he used.  So while I know this all about to break your little precious hearts.  The hearts that swooned with me when he and I had our big makeout sesh.  Try not to be too hard on him.  Because as you’ll see soon enough.  It might hurt his feelings.  So like I was saying.  His response was.  Something along the line of.  Er…um…I don’t love you.  And my ego.  Is obliterated.

Only.  Wait.  What?  I mean.  Wait huh?  Like obviously he doesn’t love me.  I mean.  I sure as fuck don’t love him.  Truth be told I barely know if I like him.  I mean.  Shit.  We barely know each other.  Like come the fuck on bridget!  And while I sit there trying to look like Nonchalant Nancy on the outside.  While I’m confused and frustrated Carly-Francine on the inside.  He continues.  Tries to explain it.  And I won’t really get into it.  Mostly because it’s been a week now as I write this.  And it’s all I can do to remember the gist and order of the conversation.  Let alone the actual words.  Though the I don’t love you was pretty easy to recall lol.  But the gist of it is this.  He was married.  For a good while.  It did not end well.  He is not over it.  Sure he’s not in love anymore.  But that’s peanuts.  That’s nothing compared to all the other shit that happens when things go south in a relationship.  And sure it’s been a year.  Since they ended things.  But it’s not like he spent the year healing.  It was an angry year.  Honestly I still think it is a bit.  He needs time.  And honestly.  Some counselling might help.  I mean shit.  I talked to someone after Mega Love and I split.  Back in October.  When I needed to be focused on school and not him.  I still remember describing my feelings as big angry red hands (possibly around his neck lol!).  And I mean honestly.  We were a pretty amicable split by comparison.  And look at me now.  Life is peachy.  Just Sayin’.

So I think I’m getting a bit off topic here.  Because what’s important isn’t really his plan of action.  How he’s going to get his shit handled.  So I should say.  I was actually taking this pretty well.  I mean hearing that someone isn’t attracted to you.  That the guy you’ve been dating.  Or thought you’ve been dating.  Have we been friending?  Suddenly pulls a quick bait and switch.  Suddenly there is no sex is your future.  At least not with him.  I mean that’s kind of sucky news.  And I was all smiles.  Like no big thing.  I’m breezy, remember?  Everything is light and carefree.  Peachy.  Relaxed.  Calm.

So we talk for awhile.  I get to find out all kinds of fun things.  Like whether or not I look like my pictures (something I would never normally ask).  Good.  You look better than most of your pictures.  Except that one with the aqua jacket and teal background.  (which I didn’t clarify but I hope he meant I look exactly like and not that I look worse lol).  Hubba Hubba he says.  He has noticed how much weight I’ve lost just since meeting him.  Which was something I’d been wondering.  Like was it noticeable.  Did he notice?

But even with all this chatter.  Which is fun.  I’m wondering.  Like.  If you’re not attracted to me.  If everytime you see the curve of my hip and the crease of my cleave you’re not thinking of all the saucy things you want to do to me.  Why have we been hanging out this much.  Like 7 dates.  Seriously?  But wait.  Because.  Didn’t he once say.  Specifically.  That there were all kinds of things he wanted to do to me…er…um…with me.  And I guess.  It seems.  Like he just thinks I’m awesome.  And best guess.  Doesn’t want to lose me as a friend.  So like.  Are we friends then?  Like is that what we’re doing?

And within moments.  I take us from definitions to definitelys.  Because I’m like that.  I compartmentalize.  And if you no longer fit in the boy-I’m-dating box.  I guess I have to shuffle you on over to that friend side.  Which bee tee dub.  Is occupied solely by chicks.  But we’ll talk more about this later.  And I know what you’re thinking.  Just because he’s a friend now…but I’ll stop you right there.  Because we can’t go back from here.  I blurted too quickly.  Or maybe not.  But either way.  This is the path we’re on.  The friendship path.  And the dating path has been closed for renovations.  I mean really.  More like demolitions.

So…I’m not sure if I should tell you.  But.  Er.  Um.  I guess since we’re friends now.  So…I have this blog.

And that was it folks.  Definite.  Cannot go back.  The moment that all rules went out the window.  The never-tell-them-about-the-blog rule.  The datey-no-facebookey rule.  All the rules.  Right out the window.  Which is fine.  I guess.  I think.  Maybe.  I mean we’ll see.  But we definitely can’t go back now.  And so I sat there.  And looked at his face.  And waited.  To see his reaction.  To this news.  That he was a celebrity.  When it came to being a “something” which I had dated.

To Be Continued…



Vancouver Dating Blog:  Dating Vancouver a Better Place, One “Something” at a Time

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Victoria Young

Writer. Dater. Masturbator. Stop ruining my jokes by believing the self-deprecation. I am far greater than your boner will ever know.

7 Replies to “Answers in Dating Trilogy: Definitions and Definitelys”

  1. Girl, kudos to Trucker Joe for being honest about his confusion and where he’s at right now. Hopefully he will go out and find somebody to talk his shit through with.

    And even bigger kudos for you for having the supersized cohones to ask some really tough questions and not spaz when you got some answers you weren’t expecting, didn’t like and that were definitely hard to swallow.

    Lastly, i hope that Trucker Joe took the news about your blog well – i.e. didn’t offer up a quick au revoir and high tail it home after you told him.

    Crossing my fingers

  2. So I’m confused. Was he saying that he has to be in love with a girl to make out with them? Why is he dating then? Thought he was healed and realizes not?

    I think it could be good for you to have a guy friend 🙂 If you can think of him that way, that is.

  3. Sad for you that it didnt work out in a romantic ending, but yay for Trucker Joe remaining classy to the end and moving forward.

    He still gets points for being the gentleman we wish we had in our lives. And although it took some poking to get to the bottom of it all, he answered your questions and concerns, honestly.

    He’s going to make a great friend, and who knows, somewhere down the line, he might turn into more.

    Just Saying.

  4. Dammit Trucker Joe, We all had such high hopes for you! But at least he was..honest? Im so confused. I dont know how you sat there calmly. I think I would have blurted out “I dont love you too. I just wanna fuck” LOL

  5. That’s a truckload of baggage that’s NOT breezy or peachy or anything else you need. Glad he’s honest but too bad you had to wring it out of him (though… he IS a guy).

    Though, who knows, friends COULD work especially if you don’t even know if you like him and your dates have been fairly platonic for the most part. Let’s just hope he takes the blog well. Hi Joe!

  6. Skye: True that…he could have just kept it to himself…forever…though technically I could have used the info sooner lol…and thanks about the cahones…having them fills me with pride lol…see next post for answers on how he took it 😛

    Life: Your confusion is my confusion…your questions are my questions…hopefully I’ll be able to offer some further answers soon…As for the friend thing…I’d have no problem looking at him like that…though there are other dilemmas (to be discussed soon)

    Just Sayin’: Alas…something more…down the road…I’m thinking probably not…he’s been blogged…he’s been facebooked…there’s no turning back from here methinks

    Rain: I Definitely DO LOVE YOU!!! That’s the anger I was expecting from my readers…I don’t know how everybody else is so calm…I thought all your little hearts would break and you’d be making vodoo dolls of him lol…

    Wanderlusting: LMAO at the wording…truckload is right…and I really appreciate the seeing that what I NEED is things that are breezy and peachy…lol love that you just greeted him 🙂

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