[dropcap]We[/dropcap] all have them. They’re uncomfortable and limiting. They make us operate unnaturally. They’re a thorn in our sides. A pebble in our shoe. Frankly, they’re a bitch. And apparently they might just be totally ridiculous.
So my voice. It’s kinda deep. At least I’ve always thought so. So much so that when I answer a phone I change it. It’s softer and higher pitched. And if you’re a stranger or a boy it’s likely to stay that way. For a little while. If you’re my friend though, suddenly we’re back to normal.
Back in the day when we were teenagers calling 669-Guys (yeah…it’s a Vancouver thing…but don’t act like you didn’t do the same thing in your town)…it was always soft and what I thought was lady-like as I said, “Hi my name is *middle name, I’m 18 (we were 13) and I like…”
When people would call our house, they always thought I was my mom (partly because we answer the phone the same way…who else do you learn this stuff from) and partly because by changing it I sounded a lot more grown up.
But neither of those voices were mine. They were the voices I was pretending to be. I already had enough issues with being plump I certainly didn’t need my voice to be thought of as manly or deep or whatever. So I changed it. Everytime I talked to a boy. Everytime I answered the phone. Everytime I went to a party (though no lie after awhile you just forget). Everytime I had a job interview. Everytime I gave a shit. But here’s the thing of the thing…it might have all been for naught.
Sidebar: I say might because you know me and science. The sample size that I’m working with isn’t large enough to draw any causational conclusions.
So the last two guys I’ve gone out with, Intelligence Officer and Twitter Guy, have both made comments about my voice. Specific comments. Not asked and answered kind of comments. But out of the blue. Of their own volition kinda comments.
“You have a really sexy voice” Seriously? I ask stumped.
And I know I know. Guys everywhere who give compliments to awkward girls who don’t know how to take them are cringing. Along with all the girls everywhere who do know how to take them. And quite honestly I’m neither. I’m awkward like that.
But this isn’t like when guys say, “you have nice lips” “you have nice boobs” “you’re a good kisser” “you’re funny” “you’re fucking brilliant” (okay maybe that last one doesn’t happen all the time…but I know they must be thinking it). Because those I believe. I mean maybe they’re bullshitting me. But one, I don’t really have major doubting insecurities about those things and two, enough people have said them that I’m like yeah, no sweat.
But the voice. That’s different. I can’t think of any specific incident where someone made fun of my voice as a kid that would have caused this complex. Though a girl in highschool used to joke (she was a friend) that I spoke in monotones a lot…but frankly I think that had more to do with bored-in-a-small-town-that-I’m-soooo*eye roll*-way-too-cool-for-obnoxious-teenage-snobbery than it did with my voice tone but who knows. But I digress because regardless of how the insecurity started I have/had it.
And the funniest thing is. With both boys. I didn’t do the voice thing. I just. Was normal with them.
Sample Subject #1: When I talked to Intelligence Officer on the phone the first time. I simplly didn’t bother. Frankly I had been pissed and wasn’t even sure we would be hanging out. So I really didn’t bother. And immediately after the conversation…there I was getting text after text about how hot and sexy my voice is. Could it just have been about flattery and buttering me up? Certainly. But even so, he could have chosen any attribute. Eyes, hair, lips, boobs, laugh, etc.
Sample Subject #2: When I met Twitter Guy it was straight up normal voice. Maybe it was forethought. Maybe I was just nervous and forgot to bother. I’m awkward like that. Maybe it’s because unlike other dates we were sort of at a TMI situation with each other to begin with so I didn’t feel as much of a need to hide things. Whatever it was. I was just. Normal. Me. Me. Normally. And towards the end of the date. Out came those truly unexpected words, “You have a really sexy voice.” and again I’m thinking Seriously? awesome. weird. but awesome. I didn’t say awesome like I should have. Or even returned the volley with a compliment of my own. I got all weird and awkward, said something about being self-conscious about it and carried on the merry way.
So there ya go though. Two boys. Two completely unsolicited compliments. Two novel situations in which to be given the compliment. So I say to girls (and boys) everywhere, perhaps our insecurities might not be such liabilities at all. Frankly, they might even be assets.
I’ll keep you posted on the Voice front as more test subjects sign up for the experiment. But either way I’m calling the score.
And it’s REAL VOICE with the win!
Signed (because I want you to actually here the word signed in your head as you read this)
Something She Dated
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