Continued from… A New “Something”: The Scientist
So, there we were, The Scientist and I, having coffee in a cafe, on a first date in Montreal. And it was good.
He asked a ton of questions, something we all know I love and so rarely happens. We both talked about our careers (he asked about my writing, which was amazing on two levels: one, it was awesome to have someone take such a huge interest in something I love, and two, it forced me to think about my ‘process’ and some other things I hadn’t really put that much time into considering).
He talked about a research paper he had just submitted, with some colleagues, about a new discovery in the way memories are formed (and only had to dumb it down a little for me), which was great to hear someone talk so passionately about something and because frankly, that level of intelligence is super hot.
At one point, I was talking about the Conference at Yale University that I was going to shortly, and he asked about the paper I was presenting. I told him that I was writing about “Happy Objects” in John Gay’s 18th C. play The Beggar’s Opera and what are the chances that he would know that play I was talking about? Zero, right? It has to be zero. And yet, and yet, in a strange string of connection, he’d learned about the play once because of it’s later connection to the Jazz song “Mack the Knife” done by Frank Sinatra. What are the chances?!?! (he could probably tell me, he’s that smart).
We laughed, we learned, it was fun.
Eventually, the cafe was closing and the waiter brought the bill to our table, saying something about how they could split it up at the front if we wanted but the Scientist immediately chimed in that he’d take care of it (before I even had time to make that awkward reach). And though my coffee was probably only about $5. And though, I’d recently tried to justify that specific gesture not really mattering. And though, I am woman hear me roar and equality and all that. This is one of the few dating rituals that I actually think matter, and has some logic behind it.
He paid the bill, we went outside, but neither of us seemed interested in saying goodbye. After all, we hadn’t even started to talk about what it was like to grow up in Colombia, or all the world traveling he and I had done, etc. We decided to take a stroll down Saint Urbain, and whether it was the conversation or simply the company, before I knew it we had walked all the way down to Sherbrooke (and I had hardly noticed I wasn’t in particularly comfortable shoes).
Conveniently, there is a little courtyyard with benches and light displays at the corner of Sherbrooke and Saint Urbain, it was like a rest stop for romance, a space for something special, or maybe it was just a few benches and some bushes. Either way, we sat down for a bit and continued talking.
And that’s when it somehow took that turn to how I write about sex and dating. It didn’t seem to bother him at all, in fact he seemed kind of intrigued. But not in that, oooh you’re a dating blogger and maybe you can make me more important by writing about me way that can be a real turn off. He just seemed, well, interested in knowing more. We continued to talk about dating war stories for a bit, I mentioned the lavender leather jacket and he talked about a date where the person did not match their profile in the slightest. And then he went on to ease my dating fears and said that I was exactly the person I had seemed online (pictures, profile and conversation).
We talked a bit more about dating and writing, and he even suggested that I could go on bad dates, if only for the material. I told him I could never do that, and honestly I really couldn’t. It’s one thing to turn a horrible date into something less horrible by writing about it and sharing your experiences with people, but to purposely go out with someone knowing that you weren’t interested in them just seems dishonest and cruel. I just couldn’t do that to people. Most guys, I said, when I tell them, immediately jump to the conclusion that I date for sport, which couldn’t be further from the truth, after all, I said, first dates are the worst.
Realizing that we, of course, were on a first date and not wanting him to think I wasn’t enjoying myself, I felt the need to clarify that the part of first dates that I hate is that initial uncertainty
because the other person might be a total freak or murderer. It’s because it’s online dating, and I never know if the person is going to actually be the person they have claimed to be, or if I have managed to represent myself correctly as the person I really am so that I too match up well to my profile. I wish I didn’t get so nervous and stressed out for first dates but I do, so there you have it. Nonetheless, I told him, that after I meet someone, then I’m fine.
I know this blog post is very facts fact facts details details details but don’t let that distract you from the first date magic that was happening as we sat side by side (but in that leaning in triangley way) our knees occasionally touching. I had clearly made him a bit uncomfortable with all my I hate first dates talks, so I wasn’t really surprised when he hinted at, insinuated, and then just flat out asked if I hated everything about first dates and would I mind if he kissed me. And while I don’t normally like the first-kiss-permission-ask, the way he did it (or maybe it’s just because I liked him thus far) didn’t bother me. I smiled, blushed, subconsciously tried to look extra cute, and nodded.
He leaned over and kissed me.
Even though we were in public, it felt somewhat secluded and the kisses were good so, we ended up kissing for several minutes before I eventually pulled us apart. He said something about me being a good kisser and we decided to continue our walk up Sherbrooke.
We walked and walked, and talked and talked until finally we found ourselves near McGill and his home. It was getting late and I still had to get home, so we checked the time of the next bus and he waited with me until it came (but not before sneaking in a few more steamy kisses).
And that was it, the end of a really good date, with really good conversation and kisses, with someone who seemed like he could be a really good match.
Could it all finally be working out???