Do Nice Guys Really Finish Last?
The logic behind the claim Nice guys finish last is so flawed I hardly know where to start (but start, I will).
First off, who are these nice guys who are claiming to finish last? How are they defining last? As a matter of fact, how are they defining nice? And who are they, to claim for themselves this relative qualifier? The balls on these dudes…ugh.
And those are just the questions I have about definitions and test subjects, we’re not even talking about the actual testing scenario. I mean, not to get all correlational/causational on you but let’s be real here for a minute. Are these alleged nice guys trying to say that they are so one-factored in their life that there are no other possible reasons for why they may or may not finish last, depending of course on how we define last as mentioned above?
Supposing for a second that we’ve all agreed upon what defines being nice and supposing further than that we find a guy who fits this definition. He goes on a date, and pays like a gentleman, there is chatter and all things seem to go well. There’s a short kiss, the date ends and all feels right in the world. The next day our test subject calls his date and proposes a second adventure. She is not interested. He self-soothes with a mantra of nice guys finish last, nice guys finish last, nice guys *sob* finish last. He tells all his friends that she was a money grubbing whore only using him for a free dinner. He considers no other possibilities. And therein lies the rub.
He’s not such a nice guy. At least not in my opinion. Besides the obvious trashing of the girls reputation, the more core issue is the fact that it doesn’t even enter into his consciousness that he might be to blame. Or at fault (though I prefer to think of it as just people who didn’t mesh) but if dude’s are going to play the blame card, I’m going to deal it out to them. And like I’ve said over and over again, if you have to say it…you aren’t it. If you have to tell people you’re funny, you’re not. If you have to tell people you’re smart, you’re not. If you have to tell people you’re nice, you’re not. What you are…is oblivious. Every dude thinks he’s a nice guy, a super swell fella and the truth is the truth is to be honest, though in varying degrees, admittedly, I’m telling you right now, fellas, you are not. Now I’m not saying you’re all assholes, not even close. What I am saying, is that people are flawed, it’s in our nature, and so blanketing your dating woes, or even your life woes, with the fluffy but I’m such a nice guy defense is really not going to get you anywhere.
That being said. Even if you are, that super amazingly nice guy who never says a harsh word, never has a derogatory comment and just wants everyone to be happy and spends a great deal of his time trying to make life that way. And even if I can pretend for a minute that you’re not a dick for the crime detailed above of thinking you’re soooo amazing that the problem has to be someone else. I have to ask, a very serious and vital question: Who told you that being nice was enough? Would you want to spend the next 40 years with someone who’s only redeeming quality was that they were nice? I don’t need a seat on the bus, I need fun. Okay, that’s a lie…I want both. I’m greedy like that. And so are most boys really.
I mean, girls aren’t allowed to be enough…just by being nice. Seriously.
When was the last time a dude got hard for nice?
When was the last time a dude got hard for nice? Girls have to be fit, healthy and adventurous…but ya know…all the while maintaining a kind of fresh faced makeup-less beauty that allows for no faults of DNA. Boys want witty conversation, and upbeat personalities, smart opinions but polite decorum. They want the Princess without the baggage, the President without the power-trip and the Pornstar without the career…they want the pussy without the problems.
And It boggles the mind. My mind is boggled. That I hear it all the time. This complaint that I have absolutely no sympathy for. Nice guys finish last. I couldn’t possibly care less for the plight of the nice guy. Because in a world that asks women to be exceptional…why on earth do men think being nice is enough. How is that even possible?!?!
And just so we’re clear, I’m not opposed to people being extraordinary. I whole-heartedly encourage it. I think women should try to be all those things listed above and more (except the makeup-less one because a person has no hand in the DNA they were dealt and screw you for judging her/us/them like that).
Personally, I’m nowhere near, but always striving, to be the most awesome version of me that I can be. And to be honest, I want the same to be true of others. I fear, much of the world isn’t with me on this one though. I fear that a great deal of the population is totally all right with just getting by and being entirely average. Which I guess is fine, you can’t control people and all that jazz. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to start dating a guy who defines himself as nice. full stop.
I wouldn’t buy a one dimensional house or want to live in a one dimensional world, so why would I want to date a one dimensional person?
Vancouver Dating Blog: Dating Vancouver a Better Place, One “Something” at a Time
Latest posts by Victoria Young (see all)
- A Series of Men Lying About Inches - January 14, 2018
- How to Have a Fake Affair with a Real Celebrity (NOW AVAILABLE FOR DIGITAL DOWNLOAD) - July 22, 2017
- How I Changed the Mind of a Sexist Jerk on OKCupid - August 15, 2016
- How to Give a Passive Aggressive Handjob (now available for digital download) - August 4, 2016
- Something She Said now has a Newsletter - March 4, 2016