He Was a Dick and I Got Cocky


[dropcap]The PhD.[/dropcap]  We had a first date.  He seemed super interested.  I wanted to be super interested.  But the next week.  The one in which he said we should go out again.  It came and went.  And we did not go out again.  In fact after that initial date and texting session.  We never spoke again.  Nothing.  Nada.

Now I can’t say I’m super upset.  Mostly I’m just peeved the same way a child is when you tell them they can’t have a toy even though they likely forget what it is they wanted within an hour.  Mostly just upset when somebody isn’t fucking falling-off-chairs-writing-love-poems-masterbating-non-stop-to-thoughts-of-me-swooning over me.  But I’ll survive.

The truth of the matter is.  This was a glaring rebuttal to my previous theories about A. my ability to manipulate my own feelings of chemistry and B. the fact that simple intelligence is enough for me (fix link).   The thing of the thing is.  He was a bit creepy.  I wasn’t very attracted.  Truth be told.  If it hadn’t been for his raging intelligence…I likely would’ve never gone out with him at all.  Not even a second look.  And I definitely wouldn’t have been up for a quick peck on the date.  A lip or two.  A kiss kiss wait and kiss and done.  But it happened.  Because he wooed me.  Just a smidge.  Just a titch.  Barely at all.  But a bit.  With his brain.

The same brain which I attribute his being a dick to.  Because honestly he was a bit of a dick.  In the arrogance kind of way.  But honestly I get it.  I don’t know how you can be that smart and not be a little dickish.  Just Sayin’.  And did I want a second date.  Certainly.  Did I want a future.  Likely not.  But at the very least I wanted to be nominated for an award.  I wanted a callback.  A 2nd round job interview.  I at least wanted my name on the fucking ballot.

And the truth is I thought it was.  Would be.  Was getting one.  I was cocky.  I assumed he’d thought I was awesome.  And maybe he did.  Maybe he lost interest because I didn’t get frisky on the first date.  Maybe he sensed my lack of lust for him.  Maybe the after date texting was a trap that I sluttily fell into.  Maybe he has a girlfriend.  Maybe he’s gay.  Maybe he’s dead.  Who the fuck knows.  And aside from the fact that.  Pause.  I know this doesn’t make me look good.  Unpause.  Aside from the fact that this would have been excellent research into what it’s like dating smart guys (something I have no experience with), it’s really not a huge deal. That and ya know I had been hoping to have sex with a super aggressive guy.  Fail.  But hey.  You win some you lose some.  Sometimes it’s as simple as that.  He was a dick.  I got cocky.  Nobody made contact.  And it all just went away.  The end (of ThePhD).


Vancouver Dating Blog:  Dating Vancouver a Better Place, One “Something” at a Time

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Victoria Young

Writer. Dater. Masturbator. Stop ruining my jokes by believing the self-deprecation. I am far greater than your boner will ever know.

9 Replies to “He Was a Dick and I Got Cocky”

  1. I really thought from your previous posts that you’d be hearing from him again too. It’s so hard to tell with people sometimes! Could be any number of reasons though – it doesn’t mean that you’re any less awesome!

  2. I am feeling you on this shit! There is something about dating a first, whether its your first black dick, little dick or smart dick just to say you tried it. I’m glad to hear you’ve written this smug character off and it’s almost funny to think that he probably figures he had the upper hand. WhatEVER!!! On to the next.

  3. I concur with Ken, that title was epic!

    I empathize though, I get cocky from time to time, and all it succeeds in doing is messing with my own head. But hey, it’s understandable that we get cocky from time to time, yes? We are kind of amazing 🙂

  4. Matt: I know right?!?! Bizarro…but I definitely know…it’s no reflection on my awesomeness…I’m set 😉

    ABJ: Best picture ever right!?!? lol

    MDH: LOL…indeed! Smug is so the right word 😉

    Ken: #Swoon…I swear naming the posts is as much IF NOT MORE fun than writing 🙂 Glad it’s being appreciated xoxo

    ManShopping: You said it, girl! We are kind of amazing…in fact all KINDS of amazing. And modest. Amazingly modest. God we’re fucking great!

    Lacey: Welcome to the blog 🙂 And yeah can you imagine walking into someone’s dinner party and bam….hit in the fact with a dick…chandlier 😉

  5. Where did you find that picture of the chandelier. LOL. I love it. I copied the picture onto my computer files for future use.

    I’d love to attribute it to someone. Was it you yourself. Enjoy the idea of this blog. I am a fellow Canadian (Edmontonian).

    Anyway, take care and keep your spirits up. Your Prince Charming surely awaits you. Somewhere. Sometime.

  6. CarmenT: Not my photo…found it on google…if you click the picture it takes you to the source I found it at…whether it’s theirs or not…I have no idea…I can only put up so much effort.

    Thanks for stopping by the blog and commenting 😉

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