Many people have been quick to point out to me, I have a history of dating…er…um…well…hot and dumb? Though it should be noted, I was recently telling my mother that it’s not so much that I’m some vain asshole picking hotness over smartness, these are the guys that are choosing me.
And if I’m going to date a dumb guy, he might as well be hot, no? Now I’m not saying I’m some kind of smarty pants, but there is something to be said for the fact that I have 2 BAs and am working on my MA. Needless to say, I clearly value higher education and intelligence.
But I digress, THIS is about the Scientist. So here goes…
He messaged me on OkCupid. He asked intelligent questions (and never mentioned my tits once), our conversations included paragraphs (it was actually fun getting to know him), he seemed really interesting (he’s traveled all over the world), and it seemed like we would probably have a lot in common. Oh, and he’s getting his PhD in Neuroscience. No biggie.
In all honesty, my only hesitation was his height – 5’9. Now, don’t get me wrong, height isn’t everything, and it’s not even necessarily a downside but the thing of it is that when the guy isn’t particularly tall – I feel bigger. I’m already fairly tall at 5’7 and add to that I’m a BBW or Plus size or whatever you want to call it chubby bunny, and then if the guy isn’t tall sometimes I feel a bit like, like, well like, I take on a bit of a masculine energy. But I digress, my issues aside, he seemed like a cool dude (and smart as fuck, have I mentioned that yet, that he’s super smart, well more on this later!)
Detour. It was the week of my 32nd birthday. I had just started to get back into dating (read: put up dating profiles on POF and OKCupid) and I had 3 potential first dates coming up. The first was with a really pushy French guy (from France, big surprise) who, even though I pretty clearly stated that I was looking to hang out in an area of Montreal that I was familiar with, was trying to convince me to trek my way on an adventure to a hookah joint (that was conveniently only a block from his house, though I had already clearly said no, I don’t want to have a drink on your terrace, I’m not comfortable with that for a first date). Needless to say, boys, pushiness is not a turn on and I eventually decided it wasn’t worth the stress and texted to cancel (well in advance though, so don’t you worry). The second guy was Skinny Jeans, and we all know how that turned out. And then the third brings us back to this story, The Scientist.
Unfortunately, with classes, TAing, my first date with Skinny Jeans on my bday, and my own birthday party, I had booked up the whole week except for Saturday. Even more unfortunately, the Scientist was running the Montreal Marathon that day which would put him out of commission for another two (as I imagine running that kind of distance basically cripples you for a day or so after). And then, as luck would have it, that brings us back to the days I have class again and the point of this lengthy story is to tell you that from the time he actually first asked me out, it would be another week and a half before we got to meet.
One of the problems with making a date that far in advance is it is both too much and not enough time all at once. It’s too much time to spend waiting (because you’d be surprised how much you can convince yourself you don’t want to go on a first date after your first date back in over a year is a total flop). And yet, it’s entirely too much time because normally when you’ve started talking to someone, you…ya know…talk to them, but when you’re waiting for a first date, there is a big part of you (and it’s an advisable part, I admit) that doesn’t want to talk to the other person. You are, after all, saving up your most interesting banter and stories for the first date, when you’ll impress them with your flawless conversation. So, during those 10 or so days it was almost radio silence, on both sides, while we waited for our big date.
By which time, of course, I was feeling a bit more like this, than excited to meet a new fella:
Another first date tonight. Someone tell me I’m pretty because it’s 50/50 I cancel and eat sandwiches alone in my apartment instead. Ugh.
— Victoria Nachos (@SSDated) September 26, 2013
But obviously I didn’t bail because I’m not a total jackass and when thursday rolled around, I got all gussied up and ready for our date. I was running a tad behind, as per usual, so was planning to catch a cab so I wouldn’t be late, when the Scientist called and, apologizing profusely, asked if we could please push our date by 45 minutes so that he could attend an art show of a friend that he’d forgotten he’d promised to attend.
No sweat, I told him, let’s push it an hour so that you’re not rushed. Plus, now I could save cab fare and take the bus, hoorays all around. When I showed up at the cafe, the place was super cute but also really dead. I must’ve been looking around confused because the hostess asked if I was meeting someone–yep–a guy?–yep–around the corner. And there he was. We hugged, I sat down, and so it began…
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