Who should text after the first date?
How long should you wait to contact someone after a first date?
Do you have to wait for him to contact you?
I am a 32 year old woman and, no joke, I actually typed these queries into Google search the day after my first date with the Scientist. With most of the men I’ve dated I’ve come to realize that no texty means no likey and that they want to be the one pursuing things. But with a highly educated enlightened dude does all that stuff still apply? And there I found myself googling dating advice (because though in some areas of dating I know my stuff, this was new territory and I just didn’t know).
The results of my search were all pretty clear: go ahead and text him, these days guys like not having to always be the one making the first contact. But, is this really true? Do guys want you to make the effort to contact them? Or is it really just in a dream scenario that every guy is hoping Megan Fox is looking up their numbers and calling them to declare her love? And at that point it’s not really about who called whom first but instead that of course everyone wants someone fucking amazing to call them. I mean hell, I barely know who Megan Fox is and I’d take her call. But I digress.
Nonetheless, some of these commenters made some valid points, if only in theory, and given the Scientist being the enlightened nerdy guy I had gathered him to be, I figured what the hell.
And so I texted.
At 8pm on a Friday night. (cringe).
And then I waited…
And I waited…
(I mean technically I got some work done, watched some TV, etc., but you get the idea).
I mean it was radio fucking silence.
No biggie though, I thought, maybe he’s busy and he’ll respond tomorrow or something.
But then tomorrow came and there was no text. I was bummed. I mean, I had thought our first date had gone really well, what with all the conversation and kissing and stuff. Then again, Skinny Jeans had kissed me on our first (and last) date and had even gone out of his way to say it was good, only to never ask me out again.
Sidenote: What is the deal with boys who don’t like me kissing me?
And just when I thought I had been unceremoniously rejected after my 2nd first date in a week’s time, I got a text from him that read:
Hey! 🙂 Sorry, crazy day yesterday, nonstop till 1am. Did you have a good time on Thursday?
and then right away another message
By the way, do you have plans tomorrow evening?
I said that I’d had a good time, and asked if he had as well, and then said that no, I had nothing planned the following night. To which, he responded:
It was very nice to meet you. I really enjoyed our conversation. I wanted to invite you over for dinner at my place. Let me know if you would like to come.
And just like that…a second date was born. Was it a good idea that I texted? Who knows. Would he have texted me in his own time if I hadn’t? I have no idea. What I’m saying is, while I can advise boys on how to stop being losers while online dating, I haven’t a fucking clue about the rest of this stuff.
WISH ME LUCK!!