[dropcap]Y[/dropcap] ou look…Like a friend I once knew. Like a reason to pause the movie. Like a reason to eat all my vegetables so that I can live forever just to know you a little bit longer. You look like a woman I’d like to get to know. Like a ship lost at sea. Like a port in the storm, but not just any port, a safe haven, a harbor. Like a dream I had once, in the summer, on a sunny day, when I fell asleep watching the clouds while the bees sung me to sleep and it felt like you were beside me, even though I didn’t yet know you. You look like a reason I would get out of bed, even if it was early, on Saturday mornings, just to make you coffee. Like a heart I’d make a cocoon around with the warmest quilt on a Sunday in the winter. You look like someone I want to kiss forever or at least until my heart stops chugging like a steam engine or a college freshman. I want to know what the voices in your head are saying about me. I want to text you back immediately and make plans well in advance so that you can plan your schedule.
I want to date you like rainbows. I want to explain magic tricks to you. I want you to practice your spoken word in front of me. I want to make your nerves into cotton candy so that with every breath they shrink and shrink and shrink and then I swallow them whole. I want to lick the summer rain off your skin because I am a desert by your side. I want to rush things with you just so that you’ll tell me that slow and steady wins the race. I want you to draw a picture of a turtle to remind me. I want to stock your fridge. I want you to have everything within arms reach, except me, I only need a hand. I want to hold your hand until you don’t want to squirm away anymore. I want to call you and say it’s me and have you know that it’s me. I want you to leave long drawn out messages on my voicemail. I want you to call more times than you think you should. I want you to call and text and check in more than you need to, just to make sure I’m still interested because I know you have to, and I will still be, interested, every time you call. I’ll still be right here, playing your messages over and over again while I fall asleep. I want to hear your voice. You can never call too much. I want you to embarass yourself in front of me just so I can tell you that it doesn’t matter. I am yours.
I want to love you like you love swimming. I want to feed you lucky charms in the afternoon when all your work is done. I want to write love poems on your back in suntan lotion but not tell you so that my love becomes a part of you and everyone will know that you’re mine and that you’re loved more than regular words can convey. I want to play super mario and give you all the gold coins I collect. I want to call you yoshi and watch you stick out your tongue and laugh and then I want to shove cake in there and kiss you till we’re both covered in icing. I want to lie in bed with you, sweaty and in love, satisfied and on fire, and then I’ll turn to you and say let’s do weird stuff and listen to your laughter for hours. I want to wear our inside jokes like pajamas. I want to sleep with your sense of humor.
I want to order the ‘date-night’ special with you. I want a lifetime of splitting appetizers, even if we have to order the poutine with the gravy on the side because I don’t eat red meat. I would take all my dressings on the side for you. I want to give you a bite of everything even though you tell me not to because it’s making you fat. I want to make you fat just so we can go to the gym and I can watch you sweat and work it all off. I want to be your champion and I’m going to make you do three more reps come on come on come on you got it just so I can kiss your juicy lips right after. I want to get you gatorade when I’ve pushed too hard. I promise to rub your muscles when we get home.
I want to jump over a broom with you. I want to call you my own, my team, my better half, my other half, my one and a half. I want to half you forever. See what I did there? I know you like those kinds of puns. See? Do you see? Because I see you, like really see you. I want to go to parties and re-enact funny youtube videos we’ve watched together. I want to have witty repartee with you. I want to have a gravitational pull with you, our smiles, our jokes, our love, pulling people in. I want to watch who you become. I want a promise, written in cake and tradition.
I want to have milk chocolate babies with you. You fell in love the day I said you would make an amazing mom. I’ve fallen in love every day since. I will protect you. I will protect our babies. It will be okay. I can see the future and it’s going to all work out, but not because I can see it. Because you are good and I am good and we will do good things. We will make this world a place where good things matter. You always said you wanted to change the world, you wanted a man who wanted to change the world. And now I’m doing that. In a small way. In a minuscule way, when you think about how big the world is. But I’m trying. I’m doing things. For our kids that don’t exist yet. I’m loving the fuck out of this world so that you can let a sigh out and relax every once and awhile…it’s not all on your shoulders.
You’re still the woman I see myself ending up with, and having babies that smile bigger than the sun with.
Or at least that’s what I hear. When he says the words I love you.