Tedanese 101: Chapter 2 – Conversation and Oral History


[dropcap]U[/dropcap] p to this point Tedski has been confined to the wit and banter of the internet (aka messaging on plenty of fish)…it’s going well…things look promising…

He wants to hear my voice. We exchange numbers. Then texts. More witty banter.

I ask whereabouts he lives again?

He texts Kits Beach

He texts Go for a walk on the beach?

Sidebar: during the messaging phase of our courtship – he asked what I liked to do on a first date. I said coffee is good because it’s casual and low key but shooting pool is more fun and gives you something to do rather than just stare at each other, however, it’s harder to dash if things aren’t looking good. He said…the words magic to my ears…don’t worry, I’ll take care of it …so back to convo

I’m confused. It’s Wednesday. Is he suggesting that we go for a walk on the beach on our first date?

I send a text something like…depends which SomethingSheDated you want to see. If we walk on the beach, it’ll be casual SSD aka nice jeans and a hoody…if you want sexy SSD aka magic dress and gladiator sandals, she’s going to need something warmer.

Then he texted SSD the Vixen?

I texted SSD the Vamp

Sidebar: These are funnier because my name starts with V…sort of like a spinoff of the whole TEDanese thing…and turns out he was just making convo not a suggestion about the walk…

Then he texts how about 1940s SSD with boa and betty boop voice

I text 2029 SSD silver bobot bodysuit with computer voice?

He texts can i give you a call in about an hour when I get home from work…I want to hear your voice.

Time flies. Somehow I miss his call aka I was wrestling with my printer (insert numerous explicatives). He’s called from a different number. It’s his landline (nice – I rarely give that out). He’s left a voicemail. I immediately call TheHell and play it for her. She says “I like his voice.” I am all a titter with giggles, TheHell suggests I wait a bit before calling back (have I mentioned I’m incredibly shy). I wait. I call. I have a prepared speech. I plan to say the truth which was that I was wrestling with my printer. He’ll think it’s funny and conversation will ensue…here goes…

I dial. It rings. Man’s voice answers.

“Hey…is this Ted?…It’s SSD”

“Yeah…hey how’s it going?”

“Good…sorry I didn’t answer…I was wrestling with my printer”


“Uh…who is this?”

“It’s SSD, isn’t this TED?” (didn’t I ask that already?!?!)

“Oh…okay wait…I’ll go get the lad…”

(my mind is spinning….Lad? Did he just say lad?…spinning…Holy shit…that did kind of sound like an old man’s voice…spinning…I should hang up…spin spin spinning out…yes hang up…you are not about to date a 37 yr. Old that lives with his parents…yes…just…hang…)

“Hello?” (Shit!)

So I answer. Turns out it was his roommate (not father lol!). Also turns out his roommate has basically the male version of my name so he probably just heard me say my name originally and that’s why he thought it was for him. All and all a cute story but yikes embarassingly awkward. We talk. He’s an excellent conversationlist. There are occasional corny moments but lots of laughter.  We learn about families, travelling, where we’ve both lived, etc.etc.etc.  We talk for half an hour. Make plans for Friday. He suggests perhaps a live band, maybe a nice lounge…either way…a step up from coffee for sure.  I’m very excited.

On Thursday there are some cute messages on POF. Then Thursday night he calls. Could be just because I’m busy with school, but I feel it’s a smidgeon overkill. Then I metaphorically slap myself. Bitches are crazy! We want them to be responsive, communicative and keep me posted on plans. But then they do and I find it smothering. You really can’t win with me lol! So I cut him some slack.  Though he may have chipped just a tinsy tiny bit off my excitement sculpture.

On Friday around 3pm he texts. He knows that’s when I get off school. For our date he suggests….


Vancouver Dating Blog:  Dating Vancouver a Better Place, One “Something” at a Time

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Victoria Young

Writer. Dater. Masturbator. Stop ruining my jokes by believing the self-deprecation. I am far greater than your boner will ever know.