The PhD (part three): The Aftertext

[dropcap]So[/dropcap] things had gone well.  He was smart as hell.  A bit of a dick.  But the date went pretty good.  He got a kiss.  I got to hear someone say they thought I was the total package and looked even better than my pictures.  And at the very least I wanted a callback from the audition, whether I wanted the part or not.  And sure enough.  Like almost every “something” before.  Before I’m even home again.  There’s the text.  Reinforcing what I thought.Had a fun time 😉 he texts.  And when I get home.  I return the sentiment.  Me too.And then it gets.  Well.  A bit cheesy.  If I remember correctly even before our date ThePhD had said something lame about the wonderfulness of my curves (paraphrasing).  And I’m pretty sure he mentioned it once again on our date.  Plus there was that inappropriate story *looks up to the right like I’m tallying things in my head*.  Needless to say.  If the touching and kissing hadn’t made things clear.  All these other things did.  The dude was into me.  Or at the very least.  The dude was into chubby chicks like me.  (more on my thoughts about this to come in another post).  But the point of this little calculation.  To illustrate why his next text, though not alluring/sexy/awesome, was not a surprise.

Your softness is very tempting 😉  he says.  Ugh.  Gross I think.  But not one to miss an opportunity to be cheeky/gain information.  I responded.  What do you mean by softness? my lips? my personality? my body?

They are intertwined.  Hmm.  Interesting.  Nice save dude.  Nice save.  Which is exactly what I tell him.  Nicely put.  Until of course.  He ruined it.  You definitely have what I have a weakness for.  Maybe it’s because it was late.  Maybe it’s because I was bored.  Maybe it’s because of the texting conversation I had had earlier that day with The Nick Name (don’t worry if you’re thinking…what conversation? I haven’t told you yet it’ll be in the next post).  Maybe it’s because having no booty call in my life, no dating during the winter semester and only an imaginary affair with my professor, I hadn’t had sex since August.  Maybe because I don’t have a crush on him yet and thus nothing is at risk.  Who knows but either way.  I find myself playing along.
And what is that exactly?  I ask.  Smart, curvy, and maybe very naughty lol.  LOL is right, I think.  Technically the only compliment in that group that I actually liked was the smart but still.  Like I said.  Bored. Or playful.  Or perhaps I’m just a dick/douche myself.  But either way I was playing along.  Maybe very naughty?  What would make you think that? I asked.  You definitely earned a penalty. (he meant for cheating at pool)  Hmm.  Didn’t even really now what to respond to that.  Frankly it seemed a little out of sync to me.  Luckily it didn’t matter because before I needed to respond, I was getting another text.Are you a good listener?  it reads.  Um…depends what you’re talking about I guess.  The truth of the matter was I wasn’t even trying to be difficult.  The things he would say next hadn’t really even occurred to me that he was capable of.  So when he asked are you a good listener I almost thought he was trying to figure out if I would be a good support system for him or was perhaps going to critique me on my ability to listen instead of talk on our date or something.  But alas.  Obviously.  Not the case.
Well I like to take charge…in a firm but pleasing way.  Okay so he had me at take charge and if it had been anything else would have lost me at the firm but pleasing way ugh. gag. cheesy.  But because well.  I like a take charge guy in life.  And I REALLY like a take charge guy in the bedroom.  I was willing to overlook it.  No big deal.
Unfortunately for you guys.  I’m going to stop the publishing of the exchange right there.  I want to say it’s because of privacy or something.  But honestly it’s because A.there are some things people don’t need to read about me in an explicit way (I prefer to insinuate and let you infer) and B.because frankly the cheesiness that is mixed in with the awesomeness is frankly…a little embarrassing.But let’s just say.  Turns out this nerdy geeky intellectual…was Balls out like Chuck Norris or what I expect an MMA fighter to be like (regardless of whether or not any of them are actually like this).  And in case you need a clearer picture of the kind of take charge attitude I can appreciate…Check out two posts I previously wrote for  They’re actually a fairly vanilla version but.  well.  you’ll get the idea.I Am The Christopher Columbus of Kink and Chokehold (fix links)

The conversation carries on.  Blah blah blah.  This that this that.  Says the right things.  Yada yada yada.  Nice he says I think we’re on the same wavelength.

Indeed I say but it’s getting late and I should probably get some sleep.  Tomorrow being Christmas Eve Day and all.

Goodnight he says and talk soon 🙂

N.B.  Attention Readers.  I have a question for you.  Just a matter of semantics really.  And mainly just out of curiousity.  My question is Would you consider the texting interaction between ThePhD and I to simply be texting or sexting?  The reason I am unsure is this.  All topics/conversation/questions/statements were of a logistical nature.  This is what I like to do.  What do you like.  That kind of thing.  And not a This is what I’m going to do and then and then and then responded with oohs and ahhs and this is what I’m going to do back to you.  Etc. etc.  So is sexting only when the conversation imitates sex? or when it involves sexy chatter of any nature?  Comments (as always) wholeheartedly encouraged xoxo


Vancouver Dating Blog:  Dating Vancouver a Better Place, One “Something” at a Time

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Victoria Young

Writer. Dater. Masturbator. Stop ruining my jokes by believing the self-deprecation. I am far greater than your boner will ever know.

8 Replies to “The PhD (part three): The Aftertext”

  1. sexting is just like cyber sex. Not insinuating what he wants to do with you/to you but y’know, bluntly put, telling you he’s thinking of your sexy self and jacking off wishing it was you doing the…umm…jacking. 😀

  2. I believe that sexting is any exchange of texts, IM’s, or the like in which both or one party involved are turned on. It doesn’t matter what it is that is being said. In one of my ‘sexting’ experiences, we never mentioned one thing about sex, but it was all in a dance-around-it type of way, complete with creative language and puns, which was such a turn-on. He was, of course, a writer…*sigh*

  3. Zara: That’s kind of what I was thinking…didn’t feel like sexting…yet also didn’t feel as innocent as texting lol

    SGSG: Haha I’ve never dated a writer…though I dream about meeting someone like Rives (youtube: dirty talk)…and yeah that makes sense about parties being turned on…but then technically I would say that makes an argument for this being “not sexting” since it was maybe intriguing…interesting…perhaps he was turned on…I certainly wasn’t

    Just Sayin’: It’s always possible but there’s a couple flaws (which wouldn’t be obvious to anyone but me lol so don’t feel bad)…but one is…well…he can’t really be attributed with saying the “right” things in so much as that he didn’t know what the “right” things were…he was simply talking about what he was into…and I was playing along…little did he know until almost the end of the convo that the things he liked were also the things I liked…but I shall say no more as to not accidentally offer a *spoiler* 😛

  4. 1. Enough with the self-shaming (yes that’s a technical term). I am so over us women taking on Society’s definitions of beauty – and forgetting that people LIKE all kinds of things. Hey – not like I don’t get (TOTALLY I DO) but… thumbs up to a dude that is happy to tell you he loves your body. Period.

    2. I think it’s not sexting unless you’re actually talking THROUGH the deed… not just discussing it.

    3. Let’s not write him off yet! I think it’s awesome to have the sex talk up front – just what you’re into – and I don’t think we should read more into that!

    Anyway – good luck, lady! At least have some fun! *wink-y face!*

  5. Yeah, I have had similar conversations via text; I see it as sloppy and lazy and a bit cowardly on their part: would they really have the guts to say such embarrassingly cheesy things to your face? I found it all rather boring and a real turn-off. I was then called a ‘prude’ by the texter: I would rather be a prude than an out and out creep who’s boring and unimaginative to boot!

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