Third Date with Kevin Bacon: Too Nices Make a Wrong


[dropcap]W[/dropcap]ednesday I woke up, still high off of my day date with The Vampire, to a text message from Kevin Bacon.  The truth is I wasn’t even sure we were still going out what with the whole shouldn’t have told his ex he went out twice with SSDated debacle.  And after the awesomeness with TheVampire I wasn’t so sure I even wanted to go.  But we had made plans.  So I figured I’d just wait and see what’s what.  And then I got the text.


I am really hungover.

Fuck me.  Have I ever mentioned how much I detest vague people?  Have something to say then just spit it the fuck out.  Plus hadn’t we been through all this vague nonsense only a week ago when a conversation that should have used about 10 words (I told my ex I went out with SSDated 2 times, nothing else) instead took up 2 days and numerous texts?  Seriously.  Was he retarded.  Because after all.  What was the point of this text?


Was he telling me that the date was off?  (Which would’ve been fine with me)


Was he just filling me in on how he was feeling?  (Uh…yeah…I’m all set.)


Was this supposed to be a conversation starter?  (Generally, hello or was thinking about you work a ton better)


Was he looking for sympathy?  (Uh…yeah…I’m sober…so…yeah…I don’t really care that you’re hungover…)


I didn’t know what to make of this and maybe I was looking for a way out or maybe I was just trying to clarify but I texted back  did you want to cancel tonight then?  To which he answered  I don’t really want to, but I’m like a zombie right now.  I practically wanted to stab him.  Why do things have to be so difficult. All I could think was your a grown up.  Spit it out.  On or off.  Make a decision.  Though in all fairness the truth was I could’ve just be like.  Okay, deuces.  And never talked to him again.  Even earlier in the debacle.  But I have this thing.  Where I always want to think the best of people.  And so it’s like I’m always just waiting for them to prove me right.  To be as awesome as I hope they’ll be.  *Spoiler Alert*  He was not.  But I digress.

The thing of the thing is though.  It may have been a case of both of us being too nice.  You see, the way I remember it, it was him who wanted to still have the date.  But there’s the distinct possibility he went through with the date thinking it was ME who wanted to have it.  Because here’s what happened.  I responded back with Okay well only you know how you feel…  My intention was that he’d make the call one way or the other and we’d be done with it.  Only then I had a moment.  Where I felt like a bitch.  Here I was being super unsympathetic and since he hadn’t texted I’m hungover and let’s cancel I kind of just assumed he wanted the date to go ahead.  Big Mistake.  And my next mistake.  Was being nice.  Because in my misguided sympathies I suggested we cater to his being hungover and were he to feel better later, would it be easier to stay in and watch a movie rather than go to one?  Ugh.  What waaaassss I thinking!?!?!

Though at the time I didn’t know it was a mistake.  He seemed to be relieved at that.  We’d stay in.  Watch an old 80s movie.  At his place.  Great I thought.  And then he got all secretive.  Perhaps we’d go to a different location.  Jesus.  This guy was really off the mark in thinking I enjoyed surprises.  But I digress.  Eventually it was all settled and we met up.  And to be honest, once there it got a whole lot better.  He seemed really happy to see me.  He seemed relaxed.  He’d gotten cute snacks.  Had remembered I like Coke Zero and even bought some nuts (and popcorn) thus carrying on our long running joke about my love of nuts.  Which to be honest I don’t actually like that much.  It’s more of a ballgame thing.  But obviously I didn’t tell him that.  So basically it was all going great.

Until.  We started to watch the movie.  And he sat super for away.  Okay.  Okay.  Not SUPER far away.  But like watching a movie with your brother or a friend type far away.  Not conducive for kissing.  Not that I was exactly raring to go but I could’ve been.  After watching the movie for awhile.  It was hilarious.  And nothing makes me want to make out like some serious laughter.  But to be honest.  It was weird.  Weirder now as I look back but still weird at the time.  Well, mostly actually just confusing.  It was like one good thing, one bad thing, one good thing, one bad thing…and I just didn’t know what the deal was with KevinBacon.

Good sign:  Not cancelling on 3rd date

Bad sign:  Being weird about the location, etc.

Good sign:  Being happy to see me, cute snacks that showed he listened to me

Bad sign:  Sitting far away during movie

And then came the sign that I was certain meant he was interested.  But I have to sidebar a bit first here.  On this date, we were 2 weeks from the start of school, 1 week till I moved out to UBC.  I’ve talked a lot about how I would never let a boy interfere with school and thus dating during the school year is always a bit gamble.  My philosophy was that I would definitely date someone where there was no bullshit.  And this is what I told KevinBacon when he asked.

Good sign:  Kevin Bacon asks So are you going to be able to date someone when school starts?  And I told him the truth.  That pending no bullshit, of course I would.  What I wouldn’t want is someone who was unclear.  If he knew I liked him and I knew he liked me and we were passed all the bullshit uncertainty that comes with the beginning of dating then yes definitely.  I, of course, assumed he was asking about himself.  Because after all why the fuck would he give a shit if I had time to date anyone else.  That would just be really fucking weird, right?!?!

And then came the final bad sign of the night.  It was time to say goodbye.  We packed up (long story short but we weren’t at his place) and walked down to our cars.  At which point he barely hugged me and was off. Like what the fuck!?!?!  I had gone from no kissing to barely a hug?  This was worse than no dates at all.

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Victoria Young

Writer. Dater. Masturbator. Stop ruining my jokes by believing the self-deprecation. I am far greater than your boner will ever know.