Tomorrow will make 3 weeks since our first date.
I can barely muster the enthusiasm to write this post (which is a bit of a spoiler alert to how things panned out). But before I do. I’d like to hit you all with a little recap of what this summer was/is supposed to be about…on the dating front. The following is a little tidbit from my post about The Boys of Summer aka My Summer of Boys. Please pay special attention to references of fun and laughter.
So all of my issues aside. It should be pretty clear what I want and don’t want. And just to reiterate, it’s not like this is the one and only mention of fun, breeziness, what I want, etc. So what is your point, SSD? My point is this….
Dating Intent Contract
Summer of Boys, 2010
To Potential Daters,
The Datee seeks to be dated in a timely summer fling like manner. The Datee expects to have fun fun fun and to laugh laugh laugh during all interactions. The Datee would like it clearly stated, that because of the nature of the “dating” being both time and emotionally constrained; the Daters will act in a swift fashion, pursuing dates quickly if they are to occurr at all, and will relegate any and all negativity, problems, need for support, and emotional baggage to interactions with their friends. In lieu of emotional support, The Datee agrees to dress sexily, act lustily, and perform as often and enthusiastically as possible. The Datee, while unwilling to committ to any kind of exclusivity, promises to be available at least one weekend night (when planned) or one weekend night (after midnight only, when unplanned), plus one week night per week. The Dater should note that planning, while not required, is always generously rewarded. Due to the required limiting of excuses, reasons, and explanations, The Dater is urged to act with precision and purpose. The Datee understands that some of these requests seem controlling and unreasonable but since she is not asking for such acts as “hand-holding, introduction to friends, emotional support, gifts, dates to weddings, etc.” and instead offering a ready supply of sexy behavior and fun, finds the requests rational and easily adherable. The Dater is free to disengage at anytime without anger or resentment however, failure to adhere to this contract will result in irritatibility and thus ends well for no one.
Signed Datee Something She Dated
Signed Dater ______________________
The Tie In.
So now I bring you back to the tale of Twitter Guy. Which has not gone well. For those of you that missed the post or need a refresher you can read all about the date with Twitter Guy Here. Because I honestly barely want to bother writing this post, I’ve narrowed what I can down to just point form events. Most of which I shouldn’t have bothered with. Most of which involve my misguided attempt to be open (and simply opened myself up to being a loser…ugh…something I really despise). By the end of the whole thing, not only does it not work out the way I had hoped, but somehow I managed to show my whole hand and may have even ended up throwing my shirt into the pot. Basically super loser city. Ugh. Basically not a good look for me. Note to self: must look cooler with next dater.
– The next day, I emailed a funny video (that I had said I would on the date). I shouldn’t have emailed him.
– The following monday I texted, “How was your weekend” (he responded pleasantly). I shouldn’t have texted him.
– He messaged me when he saw I was about to start posting all the stuff about him. He thought me posting was good. I clarified it was not. I shouldn’t have bothered talking to him.
– At some point along the way he did convey that he thought we had a good connection, he had a good time, and obviously I’m hot. He thanked me for a job well done on the posting (a good mix of revealing and privacy, a smart lady) He seemed quite please with my blog opinion of him.
– I felt compelled to set him straight that while he was doing things right then…he was not doing so awesome at present. I shouldn’t have bothered.
– I conveyed my disappointment that he turned out to be exactly like all the other boys he claimed he was so unlike (which honestly was the reason I went out with him to begin with). I shouldn’t have bothered talking to him.
– He felt that that was unfair but that I was entitled to my opinion.
– I explained it wasn’t my opinion, it was an assessment of facts. The email went on so long I began to feel bitchy and judgemental, not to mention a bit like I was coming across like I was trying to convince him to date me. I said as much. I said that my interest was correlationally related to time passed. I shouldn’t have bothered.
– He emailed back
– I had a double header that night so I don’t respond right away. I spent thursday considering it. Do I really want to pursue this further? Am I really interested in hearing reasons? Isn’t my position regarding this summer essentially that I am not interested in excuses or reasons (keep that shit for your friends) I just want the fun parts? But I do like the fact that while I think I’m being completely insane by even having these conversations at all, he is either fine with it or doesn’t notice. Either option is good. So I think, just go for it. So on Friday morning, I email back. Sure, sounds good. I shouldn’t have.
– It’s now Tuesday. and nothing. no response. no setting time and place. not even a okay, glad you still want to. and I could even be as ridiculous as to spot him the weekend (being father’s day weekend and all that) but ya know what…he’s been on Twitter…and it’s Tuesday.
So ladies and gentleman. It’s been 3 weeks since our first date. No dates made. No plans set. Barely any interest expressed.
And I’m out.
In all fairness I feel the need to include my final possible shouldn’t have bothered though I’m not totally convinced, because honestly I still hope he replies back to it. With info. Because he’s the first of the “Somethings” that I can even ask for a review and frankly with science and dating I’m bloody well interested. So yesterday, before I had totallly decided that I was out, I emailed this:
So it just occurred to me that you are an untapped resource in my quest for dating research (aka becoming the world’s most awesome dater, yes? no?)
So since you got to read your critique (positives and negatives) I think it’s only fair 😉 that you share a little of that info back to me lol. Things that you didn’t like? Things that you did? Things I could have done better? Things I shouldn’t have done at all? Things I should have? What would have made me more awesome?…you get the idea 🙂 So yeah…fill me in because I’m all about knowledge leading to improvement and who doesn’t want to say that he had a hand in molding the world’s most awesome dater right?
Perhaps I shouldn’t have. Perhaps he will respond and it’ll end up being useful. Technically he doesn’t know that I’m out. But honestly, with his reponse time I’m not sure I need to even say, I’m out. Clearly his interest is lacking. And well. Frankly, finding out here is just as good. If he’s even interested at all. So there ya go.
Vancouver Dating Blog: Dating Vancouver a Better Place, One “Something” at a Time
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